shortcuts

I find myself walking between two places quite often. On the way there, I take one route; on the way back I take another. Each time, I think I'm taking the shorter route.

I think that's indicative of a certain tendency I have to forgo later shortcuts for the ones immediately in front of me.

traits

How do you reconcile the thought "I want my future spouse to have these traits" with the thought "I will love him/her unconditionally" (i.e. regardless of the future presence of those traits).

Maybe:
1) Looking for a significant other with certain traits is simply a way to make your job of loving him/her easier.
2) The only traits that might be considered an exception are those that "help" you (in your walk with Christ, etc).

liberals

"A wise man's heart directs him toward the right, but the foolish man's heart directs him toward the left."
-Ecclesiastes 10:2

I guess I'm a bit late in finding this one (they have t-shirts!), but I had a hunch there was something biblically wrong with being a left leaning liberal.

dreaming

There are certain dreams that I have that are almost lucid, but not quite. Where at a certain point in the dream, I consider the possibility that I may be dreaming, but end up deciding that no, this is in fact reality.

When I wake up, I feel incredibly foolish. Of course it was a dream. Everything in it was dream-like: the lack of details, the sluggishness of my movement, the entire absurdity of what I was doing. And yet, having not waken, I could have accepted it as reality.

And maybe we are dreaming now, accepting this as reality when it is so much less than what was planned for us. Maybe life after death is somewhat of an awakening. Random thought.

Oh, and I was reminded of this recently:
"I regard no man as poor who has a godly mother"
-Abe Lincoln

duck hunt

So yesterday, I finally figured out how duck hunt works!

Every time you press the trigger, the screen turns black and every duck turns white for a split second. The gun barrel has a photo-detector, that, when pointed to a duck, senses the shift from black to white and registers a hit.

Isn't that ingenious?

singing

You know, I really really wish I could sing well. I'm reminded of that every so often.

Anyway, one of the fellowships here is extremely similar to Manna. The guy who preaches (named David) has the exact same sermons as David (so obviously they're very good). I wonder if there's some sort of presbyterian database of sermons somewhere (since this fellowship is affiliated with the PCA).

This week's talk was on relationships. Quoted Into the Wild, "Happiness is only real when shared", in reference to the Trinity and Creation. I like that quote.

age

One grad student's perspective on why he's getting his PhD:
"I don't particularly enjoy my research. But I guess I'm here more for the social scene. Here, there are a bunch of young people, but once you start working it's very hard to meet and connect with people your age."

Not everyone sees things this way, of course, but I guess it's somewhat understandable? Most grad students are more or less at the same life stage? And I guess age is a somewhat important thing to have in common with someone if you want to connect with him (or her) on a more than superficial level. And groupings of people by age seem to occur only in educational institutions. Oh, and maybe retirement homes.

But I do have this one image of people of different ages really getting to know one another and spending time together. And that's in the context of a church bible study group. It's really cool how you can go to a church and (ideally) meet a bunch of Christians, and identify with them on the basis of Christ and not age.

embarrassment

A few observations.

1) My ability to articulate a prayer publicly often serves as a rough litmus test of the state of my private spiritual life. E.g. I find it harder to pray over a meal (when asked) when I haven't been actively praying in private.

2) For me, embarrassment can serve as a much better motivator for change than guilt. But usually I'm only embarrassed of the foolish things I do. Maybe I should try to associate the wrong things I do with an embarrassment-inducing foolishness? Maybe embarrassment can lead to repentance? Not sure how biblical that is, haha.

3) 1 & 2 in this case are related.

4) Somewhat random, but I kind of like Djokovic more after seeing him play against Federer in this year's US Open. Oh, and isn't this crazy?

common phenomenon?

I feel the need to document this. Every time I wash the dishes, I suddenly have the urge to um, well... use the restroom. Sounds like an excuse not to do the dishes, huh?

My hypothesis: it's caused by the water running over your hands. Much in the same way that a cup of water, when used with a sleeping person's hand, can lead to very embarrassing results when he/she wakes up.

loitering

My cousin is starting college in the fall! Seems like college was so long ago. Anyway, he's staying in my room for the couple of days before he has to move in.

me: hey, where are you going this late at night?
him: if I told you, my gang would have to kill you...
me: whoa, you're part of a gang! what do you guys do at night?
him: um... nothing.
me: really? sounds boring...
him: yea, we commit crimes. like loitering.

theology

Sometimes I wonder what God thinks when He looks at all the blogs, books, and other material that attempt to describe His character, proper interpretations of the Bible, and methods of prayer and worship.

I'd like to think that for the most part, He smiles at our efforts to understand what is so obvious to Him (even lending a hand once in awhile).

notes

So apparently "loose lips sink ships" has now become "loose tweets sink fleets." Talk about upping the ante (at government work places), haha. Anyway, I don't think I'd be very good at using twitter.

Completely unrelated, but I've been thinking somewhat of racial profiling (spurred by the arrest of that Harvard professor). And people are so against it because it poses a liability to them, based on stereotypes of some group they belong to (I think)? But what about profiling (not racial) in the context of Christianity? I'm the one posing a huge liability to the name of Jesus, when there is no reason at all to group me with Him? I think that's why I find it really really hard to either read the bible in public (I've seen several do it on subway rides, which always makes me smile), pray in public, or otherwise advertise my beliefs in any manner whatsoever. The intern who works in the same office as me is Christian, not ashamed of it, and what I think is a good example of leading a public Christian life. It's just really hard for me to find a way to balance trying not to be a bad example of a Christian with the necessity of proclaiming my faith (not necessarily by reading the bible or praying in public, I don't think I could ever do that) in order to share the gospel.

Somewhat unrelated, but I'm reproducing a quote from another blog because I found it to be really really pertinent (to me). So it's a quote of a quote, if you will. This actually feels somewhat awkward, haha:

"Sometimes it seems that our many words are more an expression of our doubt than of our faith. It is as if we are not sure that God’s Spirit can touch the hearts of people: we have to help him out and, with many words, convince others of his power. But it is precisely this wordy unbelief that quenches the fire."

I think I've messed up a lot in that respect, in the past.

dreams

Had one of those dreams last night where you have to go to the airport to catch a flight (or do some other urgent thing). But then, you need to pack. And just when you're about done packing, you realize you forgot something and have to run and get that, and when you get that, you realize you have some random other errand to run. And you're almost done, and just about to miss your flight, when you wake up, somewhat stressed.

Blah. So I think the only solution to those types of dreams is to be able to just leave everything behind, not worry, and just go catch the flight. Except, this is very hard when you aren't having a lucid dream. So you'd have to be able to do that in real life. Hm.

Anyway, I was riding on the T today, and I looked out the window. And there was this short animation playing of a preview to this cartoon movie! So apparently, a bunch of images were plastered in the tunnel where the T would pass by, flip book style (e.g. Aninmorphs, because you only ever read those books for the animations on the bottom corner of every page). I don't know why I didn't notice them before, but what a cool idea.

dr

The dr trip was a lot better than I expected (probably not so much that I didn't expect so much, as much as I was too busy to even have time to have expectations; wow that's a lot of much's).

No one cried. Or, no one cried enough for me to notice, haha. The trip was too fun to be sad?

I find it hard to miss people when 1) life is short compared to the eternity I will probably spend with them and 2) God willing, I will see them again (i.e. before I die). Although point 1 applies only to some people, so maybe this comes with a greater sense of urgency for others?

But maybe the real reason is entirely separate, and less palatable. And that is: If I lose touch with someone, it is because I choose to. Maybe we're just sad that our future selves will not mind losing touch, even though it(?) would be perfectly okay with it? But this might not be the entire reason, since it definitely is harder to keep in touch with someone you no longer have shared experiences with, even if you want to.

Anyway. In Boston now, work tomorrow, quick turnaround, huh? Life never stops moving. And the rooms here are big (compared with those at Princeton). As in, 3-4 times the size for the same number of people, no joke.

life stages

I read the following somewhere (or maybe I saw it in a movie), and I really can't confirm this. John the Classics major is skeptical.

But apparently (or not so apparently), in ancient Athens, a boy was considered old enough to go to school when, being offered a coin and an apple, he'd choose the coin over the apple. The idea was that at this point in his life, he finally understood that the coin could buy multiple apples in the future; he was therefore mature enough to forgo immediate pleasure for greater future benefit (i.e. delayed gratification).

Presumably, girls never went to school because they never would choose the coin over the apple. Or maybe it was for some other reason, I forget :P

If only maturity at other stages in life were so easy to test.

gross

I still remember when I was little, and I had diarrhea, I would reassure myself by thinking: "There are a finite number of times in my life that this will happen to me. One down, X to go."  More recently, I've recalled hearing people say "this is my 3rd to last finals week, ever", etc. Does it help at all to know that the amount of suffering we will face in our lifetime is finite, but that the happiness we experience now is only a shadow of what's to come?

Somewhat of a tangent, but I've always wondered whether it should be called number 1.5 (because it's a cross between number 1 and number 2), or number 3 (because it's the sum of number 1 and number 2).

happiness

You know, someone once told me that if there's one thing worth pursuing, it's your own happiness (in whatever form that may come). I thought that was incredibly profound. People who pursue money are often unhappy after becoming rich. The same could be said of people who pursue fame, education, etc. So shouldn't we pursuing that which makes us happiest?

Now, I find myself too easily caught up in the pursuit of my own happiness. I want to find a good fellowship next year, a good church, friends, etc. And when I think about it, I want these things to be happy? I need to remind myself that there is a reason that I am going to be where I am next year, and that my immediate happiness is secondary to that (even though I don't know what that is)?.

This is not to say that the pursuit of happiness is bad. But maybe some qualification is necessary?

On a side note, Obama's been trying to regulate executive pay at financial firms in order to reward long-term (rather than short-term) performance. People argue that executives deserve what they're paid based on their performance, but the incentives are currently such that short-term (and unsustainable) gains are preferred. I have this image in my mind (that could be totally off) of a cross between the St. Petersburg paradox and Russian Roulette. Anyway, whether Obama is going about this in the right way is debatable. But I feel that there's an analogy to be drawn to the pursuit of short-term (unsustainable) happiness vs. long-term happiness.

corny

Visit weekends are tiring. There is also a lot of pressure to go to the school... I mean, pressure may be the wrong word. It's just that when you start meeting people, and you get to know them, and they are set on going, it's sad to think that if you decide not to go there you might never see these people ever again :(

Something a professor said (paraphrased):
"After working together long hours for many months with the same grad students in your group, you feel like you should all be close. But the real close-ness comes when you go to conferences together. You're surrounded by people from other schools, and all of a sudden the similarities you have with the grad students in your group (i.e. the fact that you go to the same school) override the differences you have with them."

This weekend, I was with two other students from Princeton (one an undergrad that I had never really talked to before, and the other a grad student that I happened to have one class with). I barely knew them, but the other prospective grad students couldn't tell :)

Kings

Just saw the season premier of Kings. Overall pretty non-complex, maybe some oversimplification, but I kind of liked it. I'll be very interested to see how they take this from here.

edit: the day I posted this was my sister's birthday, yay (or as she would say, hooray!) :)

evangelism

Penn Jillette, a professed atheist:



"I don’t respect people who don’t proselytize. If you believe that there’s a heaven and hell, and people could be going to hell, and you think, 'Well, it’s not really worth telling them this because it would make it socially awkward' ... How much do you have to hate somebody not to proselytize?"

haircut

So today I got a haircut.

Ephraim, on seeing my hair for the first time: "wait... so did you do that on purpose?"
John Lin: "hmm... you look like a horse"
Jon Hwang: "now that you mention it, you do look like a horse. umm... an okay looking horse?"
ouch.

Now Christine, after hearing about my haircut, wants John to send her a picture of it.

lol, great :)

valentine's day

Valentine's day is tomorrow! If I were a girl, this might be what I would want... :)

conflict in gaza

Okay, so usually I don't like to comment about things like this. But I feel the need to make a quick comment about what's currently going on in Gaza.

Do the Palestinians really think that Hamas is looking out for them?
1) Hamas refused to renew a 6 month cease-fire, even after Israel specifically asked for it.
2) Hamas currently refuses to consider another cease-fire.
3) Hamas is still launching rockets into Israel.
4) Hamas is using civilians as shields, booby trapping the doorways of civilian homes (which sometimes inadvertently kill the residents living inside), and firing from schools and mosques (drawing fire from Israeli soldiers). They also put civilians on the rooftops of the buildings in which they operate in, in order to deter airstrikes.

The way I see it, the Palestinians should be protesting against Hamas, trying to stop them from launching additional rockets. Instead, they're protesting against Israel, which has every right to defend themselves.

Contrast Hamas' refusal to stop launching rockets with a statement made by the leader of Hezbollah (Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah), after Israel's invasion of Lebanon in 2006:
"If we had known that capturing the soldiers would have led to all of this, we wouldn't have done it."

I'm not sure how true that is, since the statement was probably made to win the sympathy of the Lebanese. But the fact is, if Hamas wants the Israeli invasion to end, all they have to do is stop launching rockets. On the other hand, Israel does want Hamas to stop launching rockets, but there's little they can do about it (Hamas was launching rockets even before the invasion).

Hamas has openly stated that it doesn't recognize Israel's right to exist. It's main concern is the destruction of Israel, not the welfare of the Palestinians. Sure, you can argue that Israel is using disproportionate amounts of force (although I don't see how they could use any less force and still be effective at stopping Hamas rockets).

Israel is looking after its citizens. Hamas should be doing the same.

And isn't this disgusting:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/09/world/09fighter.html

t-shirts

You know how before the conclusion of major sports events, they print two sets of t-shirts, each claiming victory for one side? And after one side wins, they send the wrong set of t-shirts to third world countries (so people in Africa think that the Patriots won the Superbowl last year)?

Well, I just saw Slumdog Millionaire, which was a pretty good movie. But wouldn't it be hilarious if he answered a question wrong because he saw some t-shirt with the wrong information on it? Okay, it might have been sad. Sorry, random thought.